Jun 10
9
HELP!
How helpful are you with your spouse? An offer to help is a great way to say “I love you!”
I think that sometimes in marriage we really forget how we used to be when we were courting. Remember how helpful you were to each other. You were so thoughtful. You wanted to do everything to please each other. It was so nice. Often it was those kindnesses that won our love. “She makes me feel so special”. “He is so thoughtful”. So what happenned? Life! Children, jobs, years… all of this takes your focus off each other and on to other things. If you are not careful your thoughtfulness turns into judgement. Constantly looking down on your mate for not doing what they “should” be doing. Now instead of gratitude for each other resentment grows. And even if there is no resentment there is no gratitude. Things are neutral. We just live together. No one makes much effort to excite the other with special thoughtful acts of service, words of affirmations, gifts, quality time or physical touch.
When did marriage become “what you should be doing for me?” Our expectations of each other should be verbalized to one another directly. But disappointed expectations should not mean that I stop doing for you. I think we should not stop reaching out to help our spouse even when they stop reaching out to us. We can also become so independent that we don’t need each other. I do my thing you do yours. Once again – reaching across the isle is good for the relationship – even if they don’t need your help.
So what do you think?
IT'S FREE!